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Pit Stop

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Racer substring (substring)
Race Number 399
Date Sat, 6 Dec 2014 05:32:42 +0000
Speed 75 WPM Try to beat?
Accuracy 95.9%
Rank 2nd place (out of 5)
Opponents caseychapstick (5th place) dominicgangx (3rd place) maxam (1st place) tjgyarfas (4th place)

Text typed:

Now you might ask yourself, if by yourself you mean me, "Stephen, if you don't like books, why did you write one?" You just asked yourself a trick question. I didn't write it. I dictated it. I shouted it into a tape recorder over the Columbus Day weekend, then handed it to my agent and said, "Sell this."
I Am America (And So Can You!) (book) by Stephen Colbert (see stats)